sunnuntai 13. heinäkuuta 2014

EXCHANGE

Exchange is change. 
Rapid, brutal, beautiful, hurtful, colourful, amazing, unexpected, overwhelming and most of all constant change. Change in lifestyle, country, language, friends, parents, houses, school, simply everything.

Exchange is realizing that everything they told you beforehand is wrong, but also right in a way.

Exchange is going from thinking you know who you are, to having no idea who you are anymore to being someone new. But not entirely new. 

You are still the person you were before but you jumped into that ice cold lake. You know how it feels like to be on your own. Away from home, with no one you really know. And you find out that you can actually do it.

Exchange is thinking. All the time. About everything.
About why you’re here and not back home. About how it’s going to be like once you come back home. How people are going to react when they see you again.
About who’s hanging out where this weekend. About how everybody at home is doing. About how stupid this whole time-zone thing is.
Thinking about what’s right and what’s wrong. About how stupid or rude you just were to someone without meaning to be. About the point of all this. About the sense of life. About who you want to be, what you want to do. And about when that English essay is due, even though you’re marks don’t count. About what the hell that guy just said.

Exchange is people. Those incredibly strange people, who look at you like you’re an alien. Those people who are too afraid to talk to you. And those people who actually talk to you. Those people who know your name, even though you have never met them. Those people, who tell you who to stay away from. Those people who talk about you behind your back, those people who make fun of your country. All those people, who aren’t worth your giving a damn. Those people you ignore.
And those people who invite you to their homes. Who keep you sane. Who become your friends.

Exchange is music. New music, weird music, cool music, music you will remember all your life as the soundtrack of your exchange. Music that will make you cry because all those lyrics express exactly how you feel, so far away. Music that will make you feel like you could take on the whole world. 

Exchange is uncomfortable. It’s feeling out of place, like a fifth wheel. It’s talking to people you don’t like. It’s trying to be nice all the time. It’s bugs.. and bears. It’s cold, freezing cold. It’s homesickness, it’s awkward silence and its feeling guilty because you didn’t talk to someone at home. Or feeling guilty because you missed something because you were talking on Skype.

Exchange is great. It’s feeling the connection between you and your host parents grow. It’s knowing in which cupboard the peanut butter is. It’s meeting people from all over the world. It’s having a place to stay in almost every country of the world.
It’s seeing beautiful landscapes that you never knew existed.

Exchange is exchange students. The most amazing people in the whole wide world. Those people from everywhere who know exactly how you feel and thosepeople who become your absolute best friends.

Exchange is falling in love with this amazing, wild, beautiful country. And with your home country.

Exchange is frustrating. Things you can’t do, things you don’t understand. Things you say, that mean the exact opposite of what you meant to say. Or even worse…

Exchange is understanding.

Exchange is unbelievable.

Exchange is not a year in your life. It’s a life in one year.

Exchange is nothing like you expected it to be, and everything you wanted it to be.

Exchange is the best year of your life so far. Without a doubt. And it’s also the worst. Without a doubt.

Exchange is something you will never forget, something that will always be a part of you. It is something no one back at home will ever truly understand.

Exchange is growing up, realizing that everybody is the same, no matter where they’re from. That there is great people and douche bags everywhere. And that it only depends on you how good or bad your day is going to be. Or the whole year.

Exchange is a mix of every emotion possible.

Exchange is everything. And exchange is something you can’t understand unless you’ve been through it.


keskiviikko 9. heinäkuuta 2014

Jos oon jo kotona, miten voi olla koti-ikävä

Moi!
Oon nyt ollut kotona viikon, melkeen kaks.. täytin maanantaina kahdeksantoista(jee).
Mulla on ihan hirve ikävä takaisin Kanadaan, Suomi ei oikeesti iske muhun sitten ollenkaa tällä hetkellä.
Kaikki on ihan innoissaan kaikist leffoista niiku fault in our stars, 22 jump street, neighbors, jne mut mä oon neki nähny ajat sitten.. Suomen puhuminen tuottaa tuskaa ja mulla on oikeesti niin paljon hankaluuksia puhua tätä kieltä järkevästi. Nyt kun tässä marisen jo ni voin sit sanoa että suomalaiset on vaan niin tylyjä.
Mulla jäi niin monta hyvää ystävää ja uskomattomia hetkiä.
En aatellut et mä oisin yks niitä mainstream vaihto-oppilaita ku just itkee niitten vuoden perään..
Mut ei tätä tilannetta sitten kai voi välttääkään.
Kanada oli erillainen ku suomi, Suomi on erillainen ku Kanada.
Mut mä haluan molemmat.
ps. Hollanti voittoon tänään!




lauantai 28. kesäkuuta 2014

Jäähyväiset - Farewell

We laughed until we had to cry, we loved right down to our last goodbye; but over the years we'll smile and recall, for just one moment...we had it all!
How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same
A goodbye isn’t painful unless you’re never going to say hello again.
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.
We do not remember days; we remember moments

Koitan pakata tällä hetkellä.. mulla on viimeiset 27 tuntia käynnissä ja ihan älyttömän sekavat fiilikset.